When Desire Turns into Admiration

February 25, 2019

I clapped and yelled bravo, while admiring the main character having achieved his ultimate success in business and winning the affection from the love of his life. It’s one of those happy-ending movies where you can pretty much guess how the plot will unfold. Nonetheless it’s a well-directed and well cast non-fiction movie that tells a great story. Towards the end of the movie, I can’t help to cheer him on; by the end, I find myself marveling at his accomplishments, willing to kiss the grounds he walked and having the urge to place him on the pedestal for worship.

Then, suddenly, I realized – my desire has turned into admiration. You see, normally after such a movie, I would desire to be that overachiever in the movie…it is like an inspiration for me, or at least it used to be. Instead of having that drive and the thirst of yearning, I sat back and gaze as if I am a teenage staring at his/her first crush from a distance. The desire to want, to achieve and to take action are not what I was feeling. It seems, to certain extent, I have doubt in myself – I lost hope/confident in my ability to succeed in similar manner. The moment felt like a bucket of cold ice water has poured over me!

There is nothing wrong admiration. However, admiration without desire is like an aspiration without hope or a chance…if that makes any sense. My epiphany, and what I am trying to say is, let’s keep that desire fire burn and fuel it with actionable goals, then perhaps one day, we can admire and appreciate others’ successes from the eyes of an equal, instead of an underling.

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